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Today is not only Jen’s birthday, but it is perhaps the strangest and most spiritually intense days I have yet experienced. Last night, God gave me a really good night of sleep. I woke up in the middle of the night and thought that I wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep, but a few seconds later, my alarm was going off and I had slept through the rest of the night so soundly that it felt as if no time had passed at all. I had planned on getting into the office early today so that I could have a good amount of time in prayer before beginning the rest of my day, but I fell back asleep and didn’t wake up for another hour. After telling myself I would hurriedly get ready for work, I still took a little while to get ready. In fact, I watched the rest of “Arthur” on TV with Charlie after he finished his breakfast and Jen was in the shower.
In some ways, that was all providential because after Arthur, Jen usually turns on the news to find out the weather for the day. Since I finished watching the show, I turned to the news and to my amazement found that every major network was showing live coverage of a fire in the first building of the Twin Towers at the World Trade Center. They told how at 8:50 am EDT, a plane had crashed into the side of the building, and I could see a gaping hole on the 90th floor where the plane entered the building. I was dumbfounded as I watched the news broadcast describing the horror of the moment, smoke billowing out of the top of the tower as if it were one gigantic chimney. Then, right during the broadcast, at 9:05 EDT, another plane entered the view of the TV camera and proceeded to smash into the side of the second tower as the cameras were broadcasting live video.
I watched the broadcast for an hour there as the newspeople were describing the events and the interpretation of them. Eyewitnesses confirmed that the two planes were commercial jets and likely passenger jets. The government enforced a no fly zone around New York. Federal employees were being evacuated from Washington, DC. And then, the news came that American Airlines was confirming reports that one of their planes had indeed been hijacked after leaving Boston. That plane was the one that hit the second of the two towers.
Then, while coverage was continuing and the news stations were continuing to describe the rescue efforts underway, the second tower buckled and collapsed. The ENTIRE TOWER just fell straight down to the ground like when large buildings are demolished with explosives. The top part buckled, and then fell destroying the rest of the tower underneath it. That happened at 10:05 EDT, but within another 30 minutes the first tower crumbled as well. Within such a brief period of time, both World Trade Towers were completely demolished! But the story wasn’t over. At about that time, it was reported that a third plane had crashed into the side of the Pentagon, and a fourth plane had crashed outside of Pittsburgh (apparently on its way to a more strategic target). All in all, two United airplanes and two American Airlines airplanes were hijacked this morning for this dramatic act of terrorism. Four commercial, passenger jetliners totaling hundreds of people, were hijacked and used by suicide bombers to destroy the Twin Towers, damage the Pentagon, and kill many more people in a field in Pennsylvania.
There is just too much information to try to process all of it now.
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Well, this is my second day here in the office. Yesterday seemed to be quite eventful around here, but Lorraine said that Tuesdays are always busy. Tuesday is the day when the financial people count and record all the offering statistics for the previous Sunday. Also, there seemed to be a lot of other activity going on around here yesterday. I went to the prayer meeting with some other area pastors. They do this every other week rotating through the churches for meeting places. It seemed like a good group of guys. I hope they can be a source of wisdom for me, and I also hope that I can be a source of encouragement to them.
I also found out yesterday that Lorraine’s mother is in the hospital now with a broken pelvis. She fell some time ago, but the doctors didn’t discover the problem until just yesterday. I think Lorraine and I will go visit her sometime this week. (My first hospital visit here.) Also, yesterday, Perry Straw asked for prayer since he had to reprimand Mary Martin for something that happened when he was on vacation. Yesterday, I found out that Jen’s mom’s uncle Jim died on Monday. I didn’t know she had an uncle Jim, but apparently he was her dad’s brother. This is all on top of the other things going on in that family this past week or so. With Jen’s grandmother Mockler going into bypass surgery on this coming Friday, and her grandfather Mockler having a mild stroke two weeks ago, this seems to be just one more thing piled on the family stress list.
Yesterday, also, Gary Bledsoe took Jen, Charlie, and me to go look for a desk for my office. We found some that look really nice and aren’t that expensive, so we might go with one of those. I’m not sure I’m ready for that kind of commitment yet, but hopefully, I will be able to make up my mind before the end of the week. It would be nice to work in my own office on my own desk.
Today, I plan on getting together with Roy Mella for lunch so that we can talk about what has been going on in his life and also so that we can talk about the baby dedication for little Gian. He originally wanted to do it on this coming Sunday, but he asked to move it to an early week in March.
Lord, I really need you to show me what this church needs. I feel an incredible sense of responsibility here. Not only do I feel like the spiritual condition of these people has been somehow placed into my care, but I also feel like the longevity of this church somehow depends upon my leadership. Lord, I know that isn’t really true. You are the one who will build Your church the way You want it to be built, but at the same time, You have given me stewardship of this place at this time, and I don’t want to let You down. It’s funny, isn’t it? I worry about letting You down, when as long as I rely upon You, You do Your will in and through me! I can’t let You down as long as I am seeking You with my whole heart. Like David, I want to be a man after Your own heart. Like Isaiah, I want to be a man who is not afraid to tell of the Holy One who dwells in a high and holy place but who also lives with the lowly and contrite. Like Paul, I want to be a man who can enter a church with struggles and reset its focus back on the important things so that it can be effective for Your kingdom. Like John, I want to be able to look at my congregation someday and say, “Dear Children.” Lord, you know I want to be like these men, but most of all I want to be like You. I really want to live my life here and do the ministry here as if You Yourself were walking among us. I want people to see You in me. I want people to look at the effects of my life and forget about me, but notice You. It’s the window and transparency thing all over again. I want to be completely transparent for people to see You through me so clearly that they forget it is me. So that I forget that it’s me. So that the glory truly can be given to You. I love You, Lord. Use me in that way.
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